The weather was perfect this weekend. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Dalton and I had thoroughly enjoyed the crowds and the excitement of the Final mile and were heading back to the car. He had baseball practice and I was going to go to the Middle School wrestling championships at Salem Middle School.
I jumped in the car with excitement knowing that Landon had already wrestled one match and I was looking forward to arriving in time for the second one. I glanced down at my phone which I had left in the car during the race. I had 2 text messages. One was from HR Lax reminding me of a game which Landon wasn't able to attend. The other one was from Dan and only few words.......He lost to the Salem kid.
WHAT?????? Dan had to have typed in the text incorrectly.....(he isn't the best texter in the world)............I had to look down again and that is when my heart broke and the tears fell.
You see, Landon finished his Middle School wrestling season 8 and 0....undefeated. He only allowed 3 points against him the entire season. He was ranked the #1 seed in the North part of the city in his weight class. This was not supposed to happen. He was supposed to wrestle the opposition and make it to the finals with no issues....no problems. How could this happen? Why did this happen???
Well, let's say that my pride(not Landon's) got in the way. I believed that Landon was good and that he would go to the finals without a problem. I bragged a bit about him to people that asked. I don't usually do that, but I was SO confident that he was going to be successful that I allowed myself that option. Pride is dangerous. The definition of pride is a high opinion of ones own merit or importance. I believed that the importance of my son winning and my high opinion of his success so far, outweighed anything else. I couldn't even entertain the thought of him not getting to the championship round. So, when this did not happen, I was crushed. If I hadn't allowed these thoughts to get in the way.........maybe this would not have been so very painful.
Romans 12:3 says a lot.........For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment , in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.
My downfall was taking pride in my son's accomplishments and not even considering how God was going to fit in the picture. I had prayed for Landon to be successful, of course God was going to allow that. Little did I know that God's success for Landon this weekend and my success for Landon were two totally different things.
After I dropped off Dalton and headed to see Landon....God really spoke to my heart. He very clearly said, "I bring good out of EVERYTHING and my ways are not always understandable to you, but trust me" I kept trying to push these thoughts away..."It wasn't fair, I thought. This is his last year in middle school....why, why???" As these truths really sunk in, I began to look at things through God's eyes and not my own. How was this situation good? What lesson am I learning? What lesson is Landon learning? How is he demonstrating God's goodness?
In the big scheme of life, I want my children to love God first and foremost. I then want them to be honest, loving, compassionate, hard working, humble, patient, good, gentle, kind, etc........I want the fruits of the spirit to make themselves loud and clear in their lives. This was God's definition of success for Landon this weekend. Landon accepted the loss with the integrity of a mature adult. He was composed and humble. He demonstrated the maturity of a fine young man. He cheered for his direct competitors and wished them the best. You see, if Landon would have won his first match, there may have not been the opportunity for me or for others to witness his maturity. There would not have been the many comments and e-mails and texts commending Landon's character and integrity. There would not have been the chance to let others know that God knows what He is doing.
After I dropped off Dalton and headed to see Landon....God really spoke to my heart. He very clearly said, "I bring good out of EVERYTHING and my ways are not always understandable to you, but trust me" I kept trying to push these thoughts away..."It wasn't fair, I thought. This is his last year in middle school....why, why???" As these truths really sunk in, I began to look at things through God's eyes and not my own. How was this situation good? What lesson am I learning? What lesson is Landon learning? How is he demonstrating God's goodness?
In the big scheme of life, I want my children to love God first and foremost. I then want them to be honest, loving, compassionate, hard working, humble, patient, good, gentle, kind, etc........I want the fruits of the spirit to make themselves loud and clear in their lives. This was God's definition of success for Landon this weekend. Landon accepted the loss with the integrity of a mature adult. He was composed and humble. He demonstrated the maturity of a fine young man. He cheered for his direct competitors and wished them the best. You see, if Landon would have won his first match, there may have not been the opportunity for me or for others to witness his maturity. There would not have been the many comments and e-mails and texts commending Landon's character and integrity. There would not have been the chance to let others know that God knows what He is doing.
My heart still aches, but I am no longer asking, "Why?" I know why and I know beyond measure that even though this will sting for a while, that the good that God brought out of this weekend far outweighs the aspect of Landon winning that match. There will be many other opportunites for Landon to shine, but this weekend our family needed to be humbled and be reminded about what is really important in our lives..............
On this Monday, looking back on the weekend, I am completely amazed by my son's maturity and composure in the face of "losing" a match where everyone expected him to be victorious. I know now that Landon is a true winner in how he carries himself and what he deems important in his life. Thank you God for this lesson, even though it hurts. You are good all of the time!!
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