Selfish Me

I have been convicted all day to sit down and reflect on my attitude. For the past few weeks, I have been bombarded with sermons on serving. The one that is forefront in my mind is the story of Jesus in John 13 about washing his disciples feet. If you are not familiar with this story, it is a powerful one that we all can learn from. Before the Passover, Jesus wanted to show the disciples the full extent of his love for them. He poured water into a basin and proceeded to wash each of his disciples feet. This was so significant because this was a job that was only for servants, it was a job no one wanted to do and reserved for the people that others considered "lower" than themselves. Jesus, as the ultimate example, washed his disciples feet willingly, without complaint and with a joyful and loving heart. This is our example on how God calls us to serve others.

Today I walked into school right as the bell was ringing. A few people said that I had been paged to the office. I put down my bag and quickly made my way through the halls to where I was needed. The secretary at the front desk said that I was needed to cover in a 5th grade class for the morning. "Absolutely" I answered, but my mind surely wasn't thinking that. This is an inconvenience, I thought....I need to be with the teachers that I am assigned to and work with the students that are expecting me. This attitude was affecting my mindset for the day. Why was this happening?? As the students were walking in the door, I started mumbling to the teacher across the hall when she asked why I was in that particular classroom. Her response stopped me in my tracks and put a halt to my selfish thoughts. "They must have really needed you in here this morning," she said. "Yes, I answered, they really must have. God was speaking to me loud and clear!!

Here I am, the past few weeks, listening to sermons about serving, attending a weekly bible study, and when I am put in a position to do just that, I mumble, complain and wish that I was doing what I want to do!! How selfish of me!! Why is it so easy to fall into that trap and want to fulfill only our own desires?? Well, it is not all about me as much as I wish it was and Jesus calls to us each day to serve and do it with joy and love. I love the verse in Phillipians 2:3-4 that says: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Today I was only looking to my own interests and not even considering the interests of others around me. I am so glad that I have a Lord that will forgive me and give me another chance. :)

My prayer is that each and every time I am presented with the opportunity to serve whether it be at work, at home, for my children, or for a stranger, that I look upon that as a blessing sent from God. As more opportunities are presented and I step out of the way, I know that I will experience the joy of serving Him and in the process strengthen my faith and my relationship with Christ.

So, my heart is now not so heavy as when I began this post. I am thankful for the lesson that God taught me today. I am thankful that He has opened my mind to listening to Him. I am strengthened knowing that He will provide many, many more opportunities for me to experience Him through my service.