Sunday, February 21, 2010

A Weekend of Renewal


I just returned from a Women's retreat with Grace Bible church. What a refreshing and wonderful experience. I am so thankful for my husband who is so willing to take over for a time and allow me a special time of reconnecting spiritually with the Lord.
I have attended many of these retreats. I ALWAYS learn something and come home full of light, hope and renewal. I yearn to trust more, and completely yield to what He wants me to do with my life. Somehow, I always seem to get in the way. I want control and I want to be in the driver's seat of me.
After doing some reflecting, one area is softening my heart right now....adoption.
Two years ago, Dan and I opened our home to 3 Ugandan orphans that were touring the United States with a group called the SIFA choir. They were singing their praises to the Lord and traveling through the United States sharing their joy. All of the children lived in an orphanage in Kampala, Uganda and were AIDS orphans. Daniel, Geoffrey, and Abraham lived with us for three days and changed all of our lives forever. Their presence in our home taught us about love, compassion, kindness, peace, and most of all faithfulness in a loving God. These three boys had experienced more horror than we could have ever imagined, but their faith in Christ was stronger than I had ever experienced. I recall the first night that they stayed with us. We gathered in my son's room and sat in a circle and prayed. Their prayers were ones of praise and not want. They praised their God who loved and provided for them. These children had nothing materially, but everything spiritually.
After Daniel, Geoffrey and Abraham performed on the third evening, it was time to say goodbye to them. They were moving on to their next city for more performances. I sobbed. Part of my heart was definitely changed and softened for these children who were able to love and have faith with no bounds. Later that evening, Landon and Dalton were deeply moved. They asked why they had to leave, when could they see the boys again?? My answers were not satisfying to them. I knew that God had stirred in all of us a part of our hearts that we were not aware of before this time. You see, I believe that our hearts are hardened by the world around us. Once we allow Christ in, He works to soften our hearts. Part of our hearts were changed by these boys and their experiences and would never be the same.
This May, it will be two years since these boys changed our lives. I have not forgotten about them and in fact, I truly believe that this experience is just the beginning of a story that I have no idea about how it is going to play out. Adoption has been on my heart since this time. This weekend at the retreat, I heard about adoption experiences from two women. Both are different stories with different circumstances. Each story touched me deeply and I am grateful for the people that shared with me. The common thread is faith and love and a soft heart open to His plan.
Walk. Trust. Obey. These are the things that I must do to listen and be in God's will. I am a type A person....I want things in order and controlled. I know that in these circumstances that God is saying, "Listen to me, I will order your life and show you how to live." I certainly can fire up my computer anytime and start researching about adoption and jump start this process because of how I feel right now. BUT, I want to listen and be in God's will. I don't know how He is going to end this story.....Will it be through a mission trip? Will it be through adoption? I don't know, but I DO know that I need to be patient and wait for His perfect timing. If adoption is His plan for our family, He will provide all that is needed.

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